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Ugg, mom guilt.
I’m sure you what I (Becky) mean. Mom guilt is like an unattractive backpack we haul around on a daily basis.
It erodes how we feel about ourselves because the “not good enough” voices in our heads just won’t shut up.
It’s the sinking feeling we get when obsessing about critical things in our child’s life. You know, things like were the bananas in their lunch too ripe, will a tsunami hit during English class or will your son chip a front tooth on the slide at recess (true story).
Unfortunately, Mom Guilt seems to be an integral part of motherhood.
It’s part of some heinous Mom Code that none of us can seem to dodge unless super-heavily medicated or really, really in touch with our inner Zen.
And it seems to kick at the moment our beloved little bean forms a pulse in the womb too. Even before the baby is born we find ourselves fussing about pregnancy-related things like will the refried beans eaten at lunch result in a child with a Frida Kahlo-like uni-brow. Or will a constantly preggo craving for Swiss cheese result in a baby that yodels instead of cries?
The struggle is real, people.
But I’ve also noticed that much of the guilt us moms put on ourselves falls under the category of First World Problems.
Do you really think parents in Third World Countries care if their kid’s hot lunch had the right balance of protein and grains or if their t-shirts have the right level of organic fibers?
NOPE.
As mom Warriors, we need to cut ourselves some slack, pick our battles and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Cut Yourself Some Slack: Everything you do throughout the course of a day as a parent is Enough. You will fail, screw-up, and probably yell a time or two. It’s OK. Acknowledge it, know that at that moment you are enough, and remember that tomorrow is a chance to try again.
Pick Your Battles: If your Kindergartener is having the epic meltdown of the century because he/she wants to wear their swim goggles to school…let them wear their swim goggles to school. Ten years from now no one will remember or care.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: We can promise that your child will not be on a Shrink’s couch in 20 years recounting how you ruined their life because they didn’t have Minecraft bedsheets. No child has ever died from not having organic fruit snacks in their lunch. No child has ever turned into Quasimodo from eating pizza 4x a week. It’s all nutrition going into their mouth. Sometimes…that has to be good enough for the time being. If your kids are healthy, fed, dressed, rested and loved…count that as an epic victory as often as you can.
Our minds can be a powerful liar. So whatever role you are in today whether its parent, caregiver, educator or spouse, we give you permission to banish the guilt and just know that you are ENOUGH just as you are.
Happy Holidays!
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